The Honesty Under Pressure Award:

I just recieved this in an email and thought it would be good to share. Here is the link for a few more tips also, http://powerofmoms.com/articles/228/1/Monthly-Value-July-The-Value-of-Honesty/Page1.html

This is a motivational way to get children to evaluate their personal honesty every week. On Sundays (or whatever day you most often get your whole family together for a meal) ask, "Who had a situation this past week where it was a challenge to be honest?" Have an "award" on hand to give to the person who remembers the best incident of being honest. A piece of construction paper or colored card with a neatly printed H.U.P. (Honesty Under Pressure) will do nicely as the award. Let the child (or adult) who wins put it on his bedroom door during the week until it is awarded again the next week. After a couple of weeks of "getting used to," you will find that children are thinking hard about their behavior of the past week in hopes of winning the award. And it is this kind of thinking and recognition that strongly reinforces honesty.

Helpful Websites

Over the years I have really enjoyed reading Richard and Linda Eyre's parenting books. They also have a website that I find helpful...

http://www.valuesparenting.com/

Their daughter has also started a great website for moms...

http://www.powerofmoms.com/

Linda and Shawni (Linda's daughter) have also written a very cute and helpful book on mothering called, A Mother's Book of Secrets.

Enjoy!

Thank You Week

I've been wanting to get my kids involved in some service type activities but never know what to do. I found a book at Deseret Book called, 52 Weeks of Fun Family Service, and it has some good ideas. Some of the ideas are a bit out of my comfort zone, like the "Sing to Seniors" week because my husband and I sound like hungry, dying alley cats when we sing and I don't think that would be of service to ANYONE. However, this week is "Thank You" week. This we CAN do (or at least I thought we could do it). You just make a list of people that you and your children would like to thank (church leaders, teachers, friends, neighbors) and then have them draw pictures (if they are really young) and then write a little note. Then you can make a thank you tree. You cut out leaves and write things you are grateful for on each leaf and then glue or tape them to the tree. I think it sounds like a cute idea but when I suggested it to my 2 oldest kids I was met with 2 temper tantrums about how there is no one they want to thank and they will not draw a picture or write anything to anyone. I love this idea and hope it works for someone! :)

Parenting

Set standards years in advance. Begin early in your children's lives to prepare them to

* Dress and act modestly
* Abide by the Word of Wisdom
* Avoid entertainment that is degrading in andy way, regardless of how it is rated.
* Avoid substance abuse
* Avoid pornography
* Use proper language
* Be morally clean

Daryl Hoole, "The Ultimate Career"

Parenting Tip

Keep the Friend or some other good reading material in the car and when you are parked waiting to pick up a child from school or dance, read a quick story to the other children.

Parenting Tip

Something I do with my kids is pick a value each month: Respect, Honesty, Loyalty, etc... We then talk about it, read about it, learn poems about it, whatever we can think of to teach the value of the month. I like the book, The Book of Virtues, by Willam J. Bennett because it has 10 different virtues and each virtue has classic poems and stories to go along with each one. My kids really love the stories and ask me to tell them to again to them when we are in the car.

Parenting Tips

I don't know any of my own tips in child raising so I will use what I have learned from others. Daryl Hoole gives this advice in her book, "The Ultimate Calling, The Art of Homemaking for Today."

Love Them. "The measure of love is to love without measure" (Anonymous).
Like Them. Appreciate whatever is noble in your children.
Listen to Them. Listen to and understand your children.
"Communication is really important in our house. I think one of the reasons why each of our 7 children feels so free to talk to their father and me is that we really listen to them. We give them our full attention as they talk, and we listen to understand, rather than to judge or preach. Therefore they are receptive to our counsel when we offer it." -Daryl Hoole

I Need Help!!!

Those of you who know me know that my oldest son is extremely difficult to raise. Those who don't I'll just put it this way, his primary teacher said there was only one of him in ALL of Heaven. Anyway, I am having a very difficult time getting him to obey. My husband and I have tried everything we know. If there is anyone reading this that has any suggestions at all I would love to hear them. Thank you. Just email me at drennanbakerblog@yahoo.com

Parenting

I am sorry I didn't make a post earlier in the day. However, someone wrote a comment on the post from yesterday and she has a parenting blog!! It is wonderful! Please check it out.

http://www.parents-and-kids.blogspot.com/

This is a really great parenting advice blog!

She has a great section on helping build your child's self confidence.

http://www.parents-and-kids.com/blog/en/topics/be-a-good-parent/

Parenting Advice

Last Sunday my husband and I went over to a good friends house for dinner. They have 5 kids ranging in age from 17 yrs. down to 6 yrs. Each child was so kind, helpful, mannerly and even complimentary of their parents. I asked what advice would they give to parents and the husband said, "learn to be patient and control your moods. If you are angry do your best not to let it show in your face or tone of voice." These were not his exact words but this was basically it. Such simple yet profound advice. This is a way to "keep you children's hearts."
-From Bryan

"There is no way

to be a perfect

parent, but there

are a million

ways to be a

good one."

-Daryl Hoole's book

Daughters of God

Part of Elder M. Russell Ballard's conference talk in April 2008. There is a little something for everyone, moms, dads and kids.

"There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood."

As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding.
The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
The second question: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?
First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!
Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.

M. Russell Ballard, “Daughters of God,” Ensign, May 2008

A Blessing For Children

Elder Jeffery R. Holland writes, Nephi-like, might we ask our selves, what do our children know? From us? Personally? Do our children know that we love the scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever unexpectedly opened a closed door and found us on our knees in prayer? Have they heard us not only pray with them but also pray for them out of nothing more then sheer parental love? Do our children know we believe in fasting as something more that an obligatory first-Sunday-of-the-month hardship? Do they know that we have fasted for them and for their future on days about which they knew nothing? Do they know we love being in the temple, not least because it provides a bond to them that neither death nor the legions of hell can break? Do they know we love and sustain local and general leaders, imperfect as they are, for their willingness to accept callings they did not seek in order to preserve a standard of righteousness they did not create? Do those children know that we love God with all our heart and that we long to see the face - and fall at the feet - of His Only Begotten Son? I pray that they know this.

-Elder Jeffery R. Holland, Broken Things to Mend

Preparing Stripling Warriors

"The true preparation of a stripling warrior begins when a child is nestled in the arm of his or her mother, being nurtured physically and spiritually. Mothers of stripling warriors sense... the eternal significance of every physical and spiritual experience that molds, shapes, refines, and prepares the body and the spirit of a child." (Ardeth Greene Kapp, What Latter-day Stripling Warriors Learn from Their Mothers)

I got this from my sister-in-laws blog http://www.spirituallythinking.blogspot.com/. This is from a book you can buy at Deseret Book.

January Tips

Fun With Kids of All Ages

I asked mothers to write in and tell me some fun things they do with their kids. It is always fun to hear what others do. So here are some of the responses.

1) READING: I got a lot of mothers saying they read to their kids everyday. Here is what Nathalie, a mother of 7 wrote about reading: The first thing that comes to my mind, of course, is reading out loud to my kids - not just little story books, but novels.I've been reading novels out loud to my family for years. They love it. I would recommend starting out with the "Chronicles of Narnia" for all ages. 4 & 5 year olds up to teenagers and adults enjoy this series. The biggest tip I have about reading to the kids is this: DO NOT make them sit quietly with their arms folded when you read out loud to them at home!! This is not church! In the past, I've told mothers how much I read to my children, and the response has sometimes been "but my kids won't sit still and listen". Let your kids build with blocks or legos - or have them color or draw while you read out loud to them - let them play! You'll be amazed at how much they learn and remember from the book as you let them do other things while they listen to the story. And as the mom, it's fun to peek at them and see what they're doing while you're reading. Many times, they're building, drawing, or acting some part of the story. It provides them inspiration for their imagination! The only rule we have is that when mom or dad is reading, you must be quiet. If you talk, sing, yell, or make other sound effects (which boys are famous for!), you may leave the room. That's it! Make it fun for the family. Every once in a while during the winter when it gets dark early, we turn off all the lights and get out our candles and oil lamps from the storage room. Then we light them, and have a fun night of popcorn and reading to candlelight - the kids love it and pretend they're in old times. We also like to discuss the books we read at mealtimes. Reading is a wonderful way to create fun family time together!

2)STORY TELLING: Kori, a mother of 2, wrote this: One simple thing I did that captured Jake's attention (he's 2 1/2) more than I thought it would was to tell scripture stories in my own words. I was trying to feed Christian (11 months) and Jake was running around distracting him so I started telling Jake the story of Nephi. He just stood there listening. When I got done, he said, "Tell it again!" So I told him another one. "Tell it again!" So I told one more. . . and one more after that. I really thought he needed pictures to pay attention, but he was spellbound at the simple stories. I was amazed.

3) WRITE LETTERS: Cherie wrote this great idea: I love to write a letter to each child on their birthdays. I have done this since each of their first birthdays and it's been a treasure.

4) ONE-ON-ONE TIME: Many mothers wrote how important one-on-one time is. Cherie says: Also, I take each child on a date night about every other month (and my husband does the same). That way, they get a date night with one parent once a month. I absolutely CHERISH this time with them because they feel so special and loved---having that personal connection. One time my daughter Savannah and I went mini-golfing and I hit a hole in one and started doing a funky dance, while all the bells and whistles went off. She still laughs about that and tells all her friends, and it's been 2 years now. Focused one-on-one ANYTHING is a treat for a child. Kori wrote: I've found, as probably every mom has, that my kids just want my attention. Doesn't matter what we're doing, they just want me to be with them as much as I can.

5)ART DAY: Ashley wrote: each week we have one day that is Art day. For us it is Thurs after school. Last week we drew our favorite toy and this week we made salt dough and made hand molds. I have a 7 year old and a 1 year old and they both love and look forward to it every week. In the summer we plan to do fun stuff like tie dying. (On a side note, Ashley's husband also teaches their kids music and piano.)

6)COOKING: Ashely also gave this: we are going to start around the world cooking and my kids are going to help me create different dinners from around the world (ie: Mexico, Japan, Italy, Greece, America, France etc...)

7)JOURNAL: Another great tip from Ashley: I have also started my son his own private blog but we just call it his " CharLee News Journal".

8)DONATING: More from Ashley: Every other month we give our kids a bag and they fill it with toys, clothes they don't use and we make a healthy treat( ie. flax seed balls) and give them away to someone we know would like them and then we organize what we have left.

9)Great tip from Heather: I think I have just found that you just have to enjoy the journey, find whatever your kids are interested in and support them!Be at everything! let your not being at an event an exception and not the rule.

10)Outside: In the summer when I was growing up Mom would have us find pictures in the clouds and then draw them. While we drew, Mom would teach us about clouds or whatever it was we were drawing. "Women's Devotional Bible"

11)Perform Plays

12)House Boat: Pretend that your house is a giant boat on an imaginary journey. Travel around the world and learn about new places. "Women's Devotional Bible"

13)Make a Family Song: We made a fun family song that is to a catchy tune. The song has 6-7 short verses but each one is something that we hope our kids will remember when they are at school or away from home. Ex: Our family reads scriptures everyday, obeys quickly, loves to share and help others, resists temptation, listens to the prophet and follows Christ. This has been a lot of fun. We sing it at least once a day and they jump around, dance and clap. -Baker's

14)Outside: Fill a bucket with water, and use paint brushes to paint on the driveway and sidewalks.-sent in by Jeffan

15)Outside: Go to the local lake and feed the birds or ducks with cheap breadfrom the day old store or with bread ends saved over a period of time and kept in the freezer.-sent in by Jeffan

16)Outside: Picnic in the park with sanwiches and foods made with the children. They always like food they helped prepare better than food made for them.- sent in by Jeffan

Thank you everyone! Please keep sending me things as you come up with new ideas. Thanks.



Scripture Study

We have found in our family that when we have scripture study around the kitchen table every night that the kids listen and sit still better than when we used to do it in our room or one of the kids rooms. Dad is also the initiator of it and we call it Daddy Scripture Study Time. We also try to incorporate songs and games each night.

Look up the Home Organization and Chores website
http://www.titus2.com/
I just got their books, "Managers of their Chores" and "Managers of their Homes." So far I have only read about half of "Managers of their Chores" and done the ChorePacks it talks about and it is really helping! This is the same program that the Duggar family uses to get their 18 kids organized and helping around the house. It is designed for homeschooling families but anyone could benenfit from them.

What Latter-Day Stripling Warriors Need

By, Ardeth Green Kapp
We learned that today's stripling warriors feel secure when they have specific guidelines, rules, policies. They want someone to follow up and reinforce their confidence, to reassure them that they're doing well. We learned that sometimes they need to suffer the consequences of wrong choices and learn-often painfully-from their mistakes, knowing all the while that love and acceptance are unconditional. We learned that they need reminders during the early stages on bad habits they need encouragement and direction by example. It is important to praise in public and counsel in private, and to help them understand the difference between sin and error. We learned that stripling warriors have fears that are real. Their response of support and loyalty seemed strengthened when we acknowledge some of our own feelings of inadequacy and dependence on the Lord. Working with theses young men and women, we learned that genuine love and understanding, combined with clearly defined, consistent boundaries (not strong as steel. We learned that the making of a man or woman begins in a mother's arms and at a mother's knee.

Personal Interviews

At least once a week have personal interviews with each one of your children. We do ours on Sunday. My husband does them and asks how their week was, is there any thing bothering you, what did you learn this week, how are your friends, etc... These interviews each last 15-20 minutes and they begin and end with a prayer.

Set Family Goals

These can be prayed about to see what will work best for your family. However, one that we all have in common is to Return Back to the Celestial Kingdom as a Family and Live with Heavenly Father and Jesus through the eternities. Then, as you are teaching your kids throughout the years, be reminding them that you are teaching them these things so that they can help in accomplishing family goals. You can also remind them as they are making choices in their everyday life that each choice should help bring them closer to accomplishing the family goals.

Set these goals up together, then write them down and if you can hang them on the wall to remind all of you what you are working toward.